Hi everyone.
Let me just be upfront and say that I am not writing tonight to talk about all the great things that have happened this year, though there is much to celebrate.
I want to share with you some things that I am really struggling with. And I mean REALLY struggling with.
Fundraising.
This has never been my strong suit on staff with IVCF. I would go so far as to say it is my Achilles' Heel. I can probably count on one hand the times I've approached fundraising with a sense of excitement and hope. Most of the time it makes me want to crawl into bed and wish it would all just go away.
But it is a part of this ministry. And it is more than just a necessary evil. The people who support this ministry do so out of joy and excitement about what God is doing here at OSU. They are happy to be a part of it. I have been told many times that fundraising is a ministry TO those who give.
But I have a really hard time believing that.
And I have an even harder time believing that I will ever be fully funded.
In the seven years I have been on staff, I have only briefly been 75% funded. Most of the time I hover in the mid-60's.
Now my budget is going up. Next year I will be responsible for raising $4,481 per month. That is about $1,900 more per month than I am currently raising. And on top of that, my fiance, Andrea, is also raising support. She will have the same budget as me but needs about $1,200 more per month. This comes to a grand total of $3,100 per month that we will need to raise to be fully funded.
Our combined budget will be over $100,000 per year.
That feels impossible.
Totally. Impossible.
I want to be clear, I am not writing this as an ask for money. I am simply sharing with you how overwhelmed, scared, and inadequate this makes me feel. I don't think I can do it.
Leading worship, speaking at large groups, having fun during New Student Outreach, studying Scripture with students, these things make me feel like I am a part of something great.
Fundraising makes me feel like a failure.
What I am asking is that you pray. Pray for this ministry. Pray for me to have the courage to keep going. Pray for people who are willing and able to support us to come out of the woodwork. Pray that God would meet me with some amazing grace in the midst of my freaking out.
I don't need cliches. I don't even need comforting words. I need Jesus.
