Personal Reflection

I was thinking the other day (trouble!) that I spend most of the space on this blog talking about how things in the fellowship are going. And that is fine because I think you all want to know those things. But I rarely share about how I am doing. So before the craziness of the new school year starts, I thought I would share a bit about my own spiritual journey.

I feel like this past year has been a big one for me. I have learned a lot from successes, failures, wonderful people who have leadership roles in my life, and books I have been reading. I think my understanding of God is growing and getting bigger. That is always a good thing. I am just trying to figure out what to do with it. It is one thing to learn something new or deeper about God, but it is another to live it. As I look at my life, I have found many places where what I believe about God internally has not quite matched up with what I believe about him externally. I believe that following Jesus is the best way to live. So why don't I invite more people into that? I believe that Jesus has made peace with the world and with me. So why do I keep looking to other things to find peace or acceptance?

These are questions that can only be answered as I try to live out what I believe. I know that Jesus is inviting me into deeper things. Oh that I would trust him and follow. He wants to give me life and that is where I will find it.

One of the ways I have decided to try to grow this year is in the area of risk. I have realized that I have a card in my back pocket. This card says "the easy way out" on it. I play that card frequently when I am not sure what to do. I will be in the dorms and I don't really know what to do, so I play the card and decide to go home. I know that I wanted to talk to a student about something in their lives, but it could get a little uncomfortable. I play the card and never move the conversation past discussing the latest U2 album.

This year, I want to rip that card up. I will choose the riskier option. As a result, I think my life might get a little more uncomfortable and awkward at times, but I also think I will see God move in ways I have never seen before. I will ask the hard question. I will stay in the dorms for another hour. I will make that one extra invitation. Pray for me as I try to do this.

It is clear to me that Jesus is inviting me into this. And I want to respond to his invitation. I have been doing a little thinking lately on the subject of invitation. Here is a little story:

I had something that really defined my experience in High School. Some people played sports. Some people took AP classes. I sang in choir. I spent every free moment I could in the choir room singing with my friends. I loved making music with other people. I loved creating something beautiful every day.

But I almost never did it.

When I was in junior high, I thought that singing in choir was only for people who had no idea how uncool they were. I heckled my friends who were in it. But I did like to sing and play guitar oddly enough. The High School choir teacher got word of that and sent me a letter inviting me to be a par of the choir. I said no. He sent me another letter. I again said no.

Then he called me to talk about it. I told him I was interested in other things and was probably not going to do choir. This was his reply: "ok, I am going on vacation for two weeks. When I come back, you can let me know your final answer." I thought I already had but whatever. Two weeks later he called me back and asked what if I wanted to join choir.

And for some crazy reason, I said, "Yes."

I really don't know why. Maybe it was just to get him to stop bothering me. So to stop someone from bothering me, I joined his class. Great Idea Ben!

But as it turned out, I loved it. I fell in love with music and learning to sing and the people I met and the places I was able to go because of it. It changed my life. It set my life in a totally different direction. I went to college to study music because of that. I am on IV staff because I responded to that invitation.

I am so thankful that he kept inviting me. He invited me four times. I said "no" three times. But the fourth time, I said "yes." And it changed my life.

If responding to an invitation from a choir teacher can do that, what can responding to an invitation from Jesus do?

May I always say "yes" to Jesus.

May you always say "yes" to Jesus.

May we always say "yes" to Jesus.